Guide Breakfast of Champions

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Contents:
  1. Breakfast Of Champions
  2. Breakfast of champions - Idioms by The Free Dictionary
  3. Champion Level

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What follows is murderously funny satire, as Vonnegut looks at war, sex, racism, success, politics, and pollution in America and reminds us how to see the truth. Vonnegut passed away in April Date of Birth:. Dwayne was a widower. He lived alone at night in a dream house in Fairchild Heights, which was the most desirable residential area in the city. Every house there cost at least one hundred thousand dollars to build. Every house was on at least four acres of land.

Dwayne's only companion at night was a Labrador retriever named Sparky. He had to fight all the time.

Breakfast Of Champions

His ears were in tatters. He was lumpy with scars. Dwayne had a black servant named Lottie Davis. She cleaned his house every day. Then she cooked his supper for him and served it. Then she went home.


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She was descended from slaves. Lottie Davis and Dwayne didn't talk much, even though they liked each other a lot. Dwayne reserved most of his conversation for the dog. He would get down on the floor and roll around with Sparky, and he would say things like, "You and me, Spark," and "How's my old buddy?

And that routine went on unrevised, even after Dwayne started to go crazy, so Lottie had nothing unusual to notice. Kilgore Trout owned a parakeet named Bill. Like Dwayne Hoover, Trout was all alone at night, except for his pet. Trout, too, talked to his pet. But while Dwayne babbled to his Labrador retriever about love, Trout sneered and muttered to his parakeet about the end of the world. Trout supposed that when the atmosphere became poisonous, Bill would keel over a few minutes before Trout did.

He would kid Bill about that. You never even told me what your religion is. He told Bill that humanity deserved to die horribly, since it had behaved so cruelly and wastefully on a planet so sweet. This was the name of a Roman emperor who had a sculptor make a hollow, life-size iron bull with a door on it. The door could be locked from the outside. The bull's mouth was open. That was the only other opening to the outside.

Breakfast of champions - Idioms by The Free Dictionary

Heliogabalus would have a human being put into the bull through the door, and the door would be locked. Any sounds the human being made in there would come out of the mouth of the bull.

05 Rainer Maria - Breakfast of Champions

Trout did another thing which some people might have considered eccentric: he called mirrors leaks. It amused him to pretend that mirrors were holes between two universes. If he saw a child near a mirror, he might wag his finger at a child warningly, and say with great solemnity, "Don't get too near that leak. You wouldn't want to wind up in the other universe, would you? And Trout would reply waggishly, "Where I come from, that means you're about to steal a mirror. By the time of Trout's death, of course, everybody called mirrors leaks.

Champion Level

That was how respectable even his jokes had become. In , Trout lived in a basement apartment in Cohoes, New York. He made his living as an installer of aluminum combination storm windows and screens. Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind. Dwayne Hoover had oodles of charm. I can have oodles of charm when I want to. A lot of people have oodles of charm. Trout's employer and co-workers had no idea that he was a writer. No reputable publisher had ever heard of him, for that matter, even though he had written one hundred and seventeen novels and two thousand short stories by the time he met Dwayne.

He made carbon copies of nothing he wrote. He mailed off manuscripts without enclosing stamped, self-addressed envelopes for their safe return. Sometimes he didn't even include a return address. He got names and addresses of publishers from magazines devoted to the writing business, which he read avidly in the periodical rooms of public libraries. He thus got in touch with a firm called World Classics Library, which published hard-core pornography in Los Angeles, California. They used his stories, which usually didn't even have women in them, to give bulk to books and magazines of salacious pictures.

They never told him where or when he might expect to find himself in print. Here is what they paid him: doodleysquat. They didn't even send him complimentary copies of the books and magazines in which he appeared, so he had to search them out in pornography stores.


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And the titles he gave to his stories were often changed. He wrote a novel, for instance, about an Earthling named Delmore Skag, a bachelor in a neighborhood where everybody else had enormous families. And Skag was a scientist, and he found a way to reproduce himself in chicken soup. He would shave living cells from the palm of his right hand, mix them with the soup, and expose the soup to cosmic rays.

The cells turned into babies which looked exactly like Delmore Skag. Pretty soon, Delmore was having several babies a day, and inviting his neighbors to share his pride and happiness. He had mass baptisms of as many as a hundred babies at a time. He became famous as a family man. And so on. See All Customer Reviews. Shop Books. Add to Wishlist. USD Buy Online, Pick up in Store is currently unavailable, but this item may be available for in-store purchase.

Sign in to Purchase Instantly. About the Author. Date of Birth: November 11, Date of Death: April 11, Place of Birth: Indianapolis, Indiana. Read an Excerpt Dwayne was a widower. Show More. Average Review. Write a Review. Breakfast of Champions; or, Goodbye, Blue Monday 4. Anonymous More than 1 year ago Anyone familiar with any of Kurt Vonnegut's works will not be disappointed by this classic satire. It features characters recurring in his novels - Kilgore Trout, Eliot Rosewater, and Rabo Karebakian - as well as fresh inventions, whose stories collude to turn any reader into a social cynic.

The novel is narrated by Vonnegut, who directs his monologue at a reader unfamiliar with Earth and its customs.